Caption competition.

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"I offered to show her my historic concordat, but she called security..."

"Scotland's First Minister meets world's most powerful female."

Not a funny caption but then a great moment for Scotland such as this shouldn't be reduced to cynical humour. Or am I just a killjoy?

Yes, you’re a killjoy. It may be a “great moment” for Alex Salmond, but Scotland as a whole has other – more important – concerns.

Salmond’s engineered photo ops, his tuneless cameo as “Sir Alex” with Sandi Thom, his pretence that Kofi Annan was courting him over the Homecoming, his plea to be featured in a Broons cartoon, his forelock-tugging to plastic Scot Donald Trump, his gawdawful Rikki Fulton impression – such contrivances, particularly in this economic climate, just make us look petty.

On one thing, Jim Sillars got it right: Salmond is “a spin machine, spinning in a policy vacuum”. He’s a walking case study in style over substance. And frankly, even the style is in short supply at times.

Mrs Clinton is introduced to the left handed Salmond bum squeeze.

No, I'm not Rab C Nesbit.

I may have a fat bum but I can still button up my jacket.

Alex and Hilary receive the news that Gordon couldn't make it.

The Secretary of State Hilary Clinton with Alex Salmond or the 'First Laddie' as he is officially known.


"If you want your cavity filling it'll cost you!"

I’ll race you to the Presidency.

"Yes indeed", gestures Mr Salmond, "the previous foreign secretary was indeed a right tosser."

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This page was published on February 23, 2009 8:53 PM.

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